Rock Against Telecom Immunity!

A song for the telecom companies that broke the law and complied with the administration’s domestic spying program to play while they put you on hold. Enjoy “Free Evenings and Weekends”.

Free Evenings and Weekends

Call me on the telephone, I’ve got time on my plan
I know that no one’s listening, but I know that they can
A little bit of oversight for transparency’s sake
It takes a special criminal
To break a law that there is no reason to break

Evenings and weekends are free
For them to listen in on you and me
And I can’t possibly see
How you and I could ever be
If we go back in time
To when a telephone call it cost just a dime
And a crime was a crime
And we demanded a better excuse than “It’s different this time.”

Carry an agenda in on the backs of the dead
We tried to throw the book at them, they keep moving their heads
In spite of this duplicity I write them a check every month
And in light of their complicity
It’s time that we charged them for once

Evenings and weekends are free
For them to listen in on you and me
And I can’t possibly see
How you and I could ever be
If we go back in time
To when the opposition had something that looked like a spine
And a crime was a crime
And we demanded a better excuse than “It’s different this time.”

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Richardson’s endorsement of Obama (and less importantly, my own.)

As some of you know, I was the director of social networking programs for Bill Richardson for President and that Gov. Richardson was my choice to best lead the country among a field of very qualified candidates, despite the fact that his candidacy didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell. Nonetheless we owe fact that all the major candidates has vowed to end the war quickly to Richardson, who forced the issue for everyone and pressed HRC and Obama to take firmer stances.

Late last night I got Richardson’s email to his supporters endorsing Barack Obama for president and this morning watched his endorsement (I’m a big fan of the beard):

I voted for Obama in the California and favored him slightly over Clinton, but after his speech on race this week, I, like Governor Richardson, realized that he is a once-in-a-lifetime leader and is this country’s best hope to repair the horrible wound that this administration has opened and salted for the past seven-and-a-half years.

For some time, a large part of me nodded with resigned agreement at Clinton’s accusations that Obama did not grasp or appreciate the complexity of certain issues sufficiently enough to be an effective president. His speech on race (Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8flxGDg6Nho to watch, that’s part 1 of 5) proved him to be capable of understanding and presenting our most complex and nuanced issue with more grace, accuracy and conviction than anyone I can recall, and put to rest any doubts I had about Obama’s ability to understand this country and the world. So, to the 10 people that care, I offer my resounding endorsement of Barack Obama for president.

And I’ll go out on a limb and say that I like an Obama/Richardson ticket. They just look like a damn good team.

A song to help find Vicki Iseman (remember her? McCain’s maybe-onetime-mistress?)

It has been exactly one month since the New York Times broke the John McCain/Vicki Iseman scandal, and since then the press has gone after Iseman with all the veracity and acumen of a dead hippo. What gives?

Don’t get me wrong – I think that if John McCain had an inappropriate relationship with a lobbyist who looks like a Barbie doll that your sister gave a haircut to, it doesn’t make him any less qualified to be president than I already think he is. That said. I’d like to win this election, and since any Democrat that is state assembly on up can’t look at a woman other than his wife without the press going after her, I’d like to see the same crappy journalism help my team for once.

It certainly isn’t happening yet, and Vicki Iseman is either sitting at home thanking Eliot Spitzer and Jeremiah Wright for making this news almost as old as John McCain, or some shadowy people have buried her in the desert. We wrote a song to help find out – enjoy!

Shout-outs to Huffpost blogger Chris Kelly and 80’s punk gods Husker Du for obvious inspiration.

Right click this and select “save link as” to download this song in much better fidelity than YouTube offers.

Vicki Where Are You?

A month ago when I first read your name
In a television storm of counterclaims
Certain that you’d surface soon enough
To deflect the accusations, cry out how you’ve been misjudged
The rumors faded out and that was that
And everyone stopped wondering just where you might be at
Now it’s likely that I’ll see your face
On a box of milk at breakfast or a ship to outer space

Vicki where are you, did they send you far away
I don’t want to argue, I just want to know that you’re okay
Vicki where are you on a rocket to the moon
Vicki where are you, I hope you come home soon

Hey, for all I know you just might be
In little plastic bags down at the bottom of the sea
Maybe you fell victim to the hands
Sticking shovel after shovel in the Arizona sand
I’m only kidding, am I not
I wouldn’t put it past them, don’t expect them to get caught
So keep your story firmly in your throat
1,000 screaming children clench their teeth and hope you don’t

Vicki where are you, did they pull you way down south
Are you tied to a chair with duct tape on your mouth
V-V-Vicki where are you, way down in Mexico
Vicki where are you, why’d you have to go

The search and rescue party has gone home
And Timmy, Wolf and Tweety vowed to leave you well alone
I’d offer an advance to write a book
If you make it to the cameras before you lose your looks

Vicki where are you, and just what did you do
Vicki where are you, on the island of Nauru
Vicki where are you, the girl the world forgot
Vicki where are you, You might be all we’ve got
Vicki where are you?

Kiss The Ring (a song for John McCain’s magically disappearing principles)

We thought John McCain might want something to listen to as he chucks his principles out of the bathroom window of the Straight Talk Express each time he capitulates to some figurehead of the religious right or hires one of the people who slandered him in 2000 to work on his campaign.

Enjoy Kiss the Ring, our song about McCain’s dwindling integrity and the clip we cobbled together for it.

Kiss The Ring

There’s a space at the table for everyone
From the crackpot fringe to the favorite sons, bring them in
Bow down and kiss the ring
Cozy up to the zealots and disown their quotes
From the hellfire preachers to the talk show hosts bickering
Kiss kiss, kiss the ring

Sign all the checks to the bottom of the deck
if it deals you a hand you can win
And I know it’s just as well that a special place in hell
it can wait if they can help you get in
The purple hearts and silver stars that got you where you are
No they won’t add up to a thing
‘Cause all the guards on patrol in the circles that you roll
Will never ever let you make it anywhere unless you kiss the ring
Kiss the ring

Peeling off the cover of the old fa├žade
If you can’t beat them then give them a job, yes it’s odd
The very same thugs that did you in
There’s a reputation that you might’ve once deserved
Before the Straight Talk Express hit Dead Man’s Curve
Even though I never agreed with you on much of anything

Put the bus in reverse as your principles disperse
And let the big games begin
Say goodbye to your code as you move on down the road
It won’t do shit for you from here on in
The purple hearts and silver stars that got you where you are
No they won’t add up to a thing
So Senator, it’s time, let them kick you down the line
I hope that you don’t mind the taste of metal ’cause it’s time to kiss the ring
Kiss the wrong

I’m crossing your name off the list of people I respect but still disagree
If you expand your ranks to the likes of them it’ll never include the likes of m
Of course I want you to lose, but maybe just maybe with some dignity
But it don’t matter much how you do it, as long as you do
It’ll be just fine with me

Sign all the checks to the bottom of the deck
if it deals you a hand you can win
And I know it’s just as well that a special place in hell
it can wait if they can help you get in
The purple hearts and silver stars that got you where you are
No they won’t add up to a thing
‘Cause all the guards on patrol in the circles that you roll
Will never ever let you make it anywhere unless you kiss the ring
Kiss the ring

New song – Mathematics of the Dead

The idea of that last blog is fleshed out in rock song!

This week’s song is about the mathematical problem with the war leading up to the election: the fewer casualties we take in the months before the election (and of course I’m all about fewer casualties), then the more likely it is that John “100 Years” McCain gets elected, which means the war lasts longer, which means we take more casualties.

It’s like that anti-drug commercial from the early 1990s of the yuppie in his office staring up after doing a line saying “I do coke… so I can work longer… so I can make more… so I can do more coke… so I can work longer… etc.”

Enjoy Mathematics of the Dead.

Mathematics of the Dead

Paint a picture by the numbers
Ink the sky in synthetic blue
Strategize statistics much too good to all be true
Keep the count declining
Mushroom clouds have silver linings too
For you, the battlefield and the ballot box are two
Sides of one bad equation
One life saved is two dead later on
In 100 years of John, carry the 1, carry it on

On and on, manipulate the space between the X and Y
Cross out all those T’s and put those dots on your I’s
A calculation simplified enough to wrap my head
Around the mathematics of the dead

A manufactured downtick
No it isn’t too far-fetched to grasp
A tiny children’s band-aid on a gaping gangrene gash
Bring out the substitute
Send more boots and pull them back to base
These figures look good on their face
Run them in place, run them in place, just in case

Manipulate the space between the X and the Y
I’m crossing all my fingers with the wool on my eyes
A calculation simplified enough to wrap my head
Around the mathematics of the dead

My oh my, it’s very temporary just a matter of time
And I wish that I wasn’t skeptical enough to roll my eyes
At statistics ever-tilted by design to stay ahead
Beyond the mathematics of the dead

More funny math from CNN

“1 in 8 casualties from Iraq have been taken by residents of Texas and Ohio”.

US Population: 303,477,000
Texas Population: 20,851,820
Ohio Population: 11,353,140

This means that 1 in 9.4 people in America live in Texas or Ohio… and while I’m always glad to see the news media actually admitting that the war matters to people who actually can think past their own economic situation, I’m sure that about half the states are taking casualties that are only 17.5% above it’s population percentage. Anyways back to work…

Death Math

1. It makes me sad that the casualty count in Iraq and the likelihood of a Democrat winning the White House are correlated and proportional, and that every day that an American soldier doesn’t die in Iraq makes a McCain victory more likely, which means more deaths for a longer period of time and pro-life Supreme Court Justices. I am trying to do the “people-math” in my head to figure out if an increase in violence in Iraq results in X number of deaths of US troops between now and November, resulting in a Democratic victory and hopefully a pullout within a year, meaning that Y fewer troops were killed than would be if John “Let’s be in Iraq for 100 years” McCain is elected. What is an acceptable value for X?

2. Ralph Nader, who once was a decent guy I’m told (he spoke at my high school in 1995 and I thought he was a purposed but tone-deaf douchebag who thought there was nothing more to life at all than social action. No culture. Nothing else) is running for President again, reminding me of the fact that his narcissism cost Gore the election which meant war in Iraq, which has meant approximately 86,000 Iraqi civilian deaths and 4,000 Coalition troop deaths. It’s hard to get a figure for how many lives were saved by Nader’s success in making the cars we drive safer. My guess is that he’s about even for life.