It’s Awkward When Bad People Die

Graphic by Darkblack

It is. How can anyone manage to acknowledge that Jesse Helms was absolutely the pits, make it clear that they think death is a very serious thing, and say that their heart goes out to his family (who I’m sure are very nice people) without looking like they themselves are committing the kind of cultural insensitivity that Helms made the centerpiece of his career? It’s really a mess.

Enjoy our elegy for Mr. Helms, “It’s Awkward When Bad People Die”. (Player appears when you put your mouse over the title.)

It’s Awkward When Bad People Die

Another infamous villain has suddenly passed away
And any good obit won’t try to show it but the point will get across either way
So can we reconcile the record with the sons and the daughters that cry
All I can say without reservation is it’s awkward when bad people die

Maybe Vlad the Impaler was a hell of a guy off the job
And Stalin was married, when pallbearers carried his coffin she wept and she sobbed
So I’ll try to mix my misgivings with a tactful and tasteful goodbye
With that kind of person all I know for certain is it’s awkward when bad people die

So cue up the footage
I’d rather not
My heart goes out
And blah blah blah
The well worded elegies
will tick through the wire
Insensitive is as insensitive does, so let’s throw a log on the fire

I used to be driven to anger whenever your face made the news
As for reacting to the sound of your passing, mostly I’m just confused
Because your legacy it will fester long after the tributes subside
It just goes to show, wherever they go, it’s awkward when bad people die
All that I know, it just goes to show, it’s awkward when bad people die